September 03, 2006
Just STOP Already!
Sometimes, a band just doesn't know when to STOP. Suffice to say, for one reason or another, the following bands just need to give it a rest!
5 - The "New" Cars
Nope. Sorry. Adding "New" to the name doesn't exempt you from the list. 4 - The New York Dolls
Once you've done "Hot, Hot, Hot", you're not allowed to put the lipstick and high heels back on. Well, I guess you're "allowed" to (turns out there really isn't a law, but there oughta be one), but you SHOULDN'T. Honestly, David, this just feels like you're pissing on the legacy of the Dolls. It MIGHT be a little easier to swallow if Johnny Thunders were still here, but he isn't, and really it would still be wrong. The Dolls weren't just another band . . . they were an inspiration. And now that legacy is tarnished.3 - Queen (w/Paul Rodgers)
No. No. No. No. No. No. . . . NO!Who though this was a good idea? Not only are you using the name Queen for a lineup without Freddy, but you "replace" him with Paul fucking Rodgers? I love you Paul . . . but not in Queen. MAYBE this would have worked with someone like George Michael in the frontman spot (if you doubt me, check out his performance of "Somebody to Love" at the memorial concert), but even then I think I'd have to pass. It's OK for some bands to do this, but this is Queen, Freddy Mercury is gone, LET IT GO!
2 - The Who
I hope that Pete and Roger continue to make great music together for the rest of their lives . . . but get a new name. It's not The Who anymore. You should have let it go when Keith died, but that was forgiveable (he was just the drummer, right?). Now that The Ox has passed as well, I think it's time to let "The Who" "f-f-f-f-fade away". Do your new stuff, perform the old songs too . . . call Jimmy and Robert for advice - they (mostly) knew how to handle this situation. 1 - The Rolling Stones
I once thought that NOTHING could be more embarrassing than Elvis Presley, his fat belly zippered into a rhinestoned jumpsuit, hauling his sweat-dripping carcass around a Las Vegas showroom stage. Then I saw The Rolling Stones in the year 1990. And every year it just gets worse. The Stones are now a parody of themselves . . . in fact, when we finish the CyberMonkey Time machine, I'm going to get the 1960's era Stones, bring them to the present, and watch them kick the asses of the current Stones. I was going to make a pithy reference to a tribute band, but a tribute band would be better than what the Stones are giviing us now. They haven't released a GOOD album since 1981 (Tattoo You), the shows are all flash - no substance, Mick has turned into a bad comedian's impersonation of himself, and Keith might as well wear a sign saying "I'm just here for the check". How much money do you really need, guys? At least a tribute band is doing what they do because they believe in the music . . .
Continuing to coast on previous greatness may be lucrative, but it ain't rock'n'roll, and I DON'T like it.
I now decree that the "Beatles vs Stones" debate is officially over . . . The Beatles knew when it was time to move on.