November 18, 2006
Damn Hippie-Yuppies!
Give me a real hippie in a Volkswagon van, smelling of weed smoke, patchouli oil, and Phish music . . . yes, I said smelling of Phish music!
What the hell is wrong with these people? Honestly, I try and be a tolerant person. I really do. It takes all kinds of people to make a world, and I figure the Big Monkey upstairs doesn't ask much of us except that we treat each other like we want to be treated.But lately I'm having a real hard time being tolerant of one group of people. My only justification is that these people weren't born this way - they choose to be this way. I'm talking, of course, about Hippie-Yuppies. Vile, disgusting, perverted Hippie-Yuppies.
I guess there may be a few people who accidentally wandered onto this site that might not know what a Hippie-Yuppie is. Well, a Hippie-Yuppie is hard to explain, but easy to pick out, because they practice the worst type of perversion, the perversion of "cool". Hippie-Yuppies attemp to live a hip lifestyle, but they can't make the full committment. They insist on bringing their yuppie scum ways into OUR world, and wind up fucking it all up.
Hippie-Yuppies start hanging out in the hip cool neighborhoods, but once the thrill of "slumming" wears off, they start wondering - "Wouldn't it be so nice to have a StarBucks here?" Now I can't even get a coffee without having to hear Hootie and the Dave Matthews Blowfish Band. Hippie-Yuppies want to eat organic food, but they have to bring in a "Gourmet" grocery store because nothing could be good if it isn't over-priced. They always have to have something that "the other people" can't afford. Before you know it, the people and places that made the neighborhood cool can't afford to stay. Thanks for fucking up my life again!
Assholes, I don't care how hard you try to be hip, you can't do it in a BMW. It ain't a tie-dye t-shirt if your's and your wife's (and your snot nosed little "princess'") all match. A pony-tail is longer than two-inches. Only an idiot pays more for clothes that were made to LOOK LIKE they came from a thrift-store. No, you are not allowed to say you love reggae because you bought "Bob Marley's Greatest Hits" (lesson number one: Greatest Hits albums are for housewives and little girls). No, this town (any town) does NOT need a Hard Rock Cafe, House of Blues, or Coyote Ugly. Phil Collins is not appropriate music for any situation. Fruit in a blender doesn't get better if you drop some powder in it and slap "Jamba Juice" on the cup. Using your own cloth shopping bag doesn't help the environment if you drive the food home in a Hummer - and why the fuck do you need a Hummer if you've never taken it off a paved road?
Yuppies, I don't come to your fern bars and ask them to play Motörhead. If you want to come rock out, come rock out. But if you want things like they were back in your old neighborhood - GO BACK!