January 11, 2009
Tron takes on "The Wrestler"
Most of us here at the CyberMonkeyDeathSquad are huge fans of Darren Aronofsky, and most of us loved "The Wrestler". Tron, however, had a different take on the film, and in the name of fairness, equal time, and giving a Monkey enough rope to hang himself, we felt it only right to allow Tron to air his minority report.
It will come as no surprise to much of our readership that I am an unabashed fan of professional wrestling. Loved it as a kid, love it now (for entirely different reasons). So you can imagine how excited I was to find out that another movie about professional wrestling was being made and, to further sweeten the pot, it had the full cooperation of Ring of Honor, the hottest independent promotion in the U.S. By now many of you have seen the advertising and reviews extolling The Wrestler and it's shoe-in status during the Oscars, the noteworthy performances from Mickey Rourke and Marisa Tomei, the in-depth character study, the powerful and emotional storytelling but if you look closely no one is talking about the wrestling. I know the Magnificent Bastard and Lady L have been and Fett gave us the inside track so rather than "review" The Wrestler I would leave that in more capable hands and take a look at the film from a wrestling fan's viewpoint which, thus far, has been sorely neglected.
First off, scuttlebutt sez the first draft was patterned on the life of Chris Benoit but after the whole steroid-berserk thing it had to be changed and it's unfortunate because anyone who's seen Jake the Snake Roberts: Pick Your Poison (2005) or Beyond the Mat (2000/4) has seen The Wrestler, albeit a much more engaging version. Unfortunately, it makes a lot of the film boring and predictable: Randy as a broken-down, pill-addicted mess with an alienated daughter, part-time job and who's only friends are found in the scrip club on payday; the aging stripper who forms a reluctant bond with the wrestler and forms a wall but an action figure puts her life in perspective and sends her rushing to his side; the daughter who never had a dad reuniting with her seemingly sincere, heart-attack victim wrestler father who will inevitably let her down again... the whole film is a transparent, by-the-numbers love and redemption tale anyway but when you can predict it all from some scant knowledge of Jake the Snake there's not much in terms of story to keep a wrestling fan's attention. Performances? 
To be fair, I have been ruthless to Heath Ledger for the death-Oscar thing and I kinda like Mickey Rourke because of the real-life badass thing but much is being made of his portrayal of an aging ex-superstar who was big in the 1980s but his glory years have faded to an embarrassingly low level and he's struggling for one more shot at the big time. I say that the reason his performance smacks of realism is because Micky Rourke was a superstar in the 80s [Diner (1982)/Pope of Greenwich Village (1984)] who's career faded to an embarrassingly low level [Bullet (1996)/They Crawl (2001)] searching for that one hit [Sin City (2005)] to bring him back to the big time. Can Mickey Rourke get an award for playing Mickey Rourke? Otherwise, Randy was a great customer service guy while it lasted. Marisa Tomei is naked and that's what her role amounts to. Marilyn Manson's ex-girlfriend just has to act snippy, reluctant and angry so I could have played that role and not messed it up. Even the soundtrack is bad 80s "metal"(hard rock) so little refuge there even. 
Ok, but what about the wrestling? Well, there's not much love there either. The brief glimpse of the first locker room provided a glimpse of old ECW mainstay Devito and Rourke's opponent looks a lot like Erik Stevens, FIP Champion. The match is alright and the blading thing is totally true; check the first Hell in a Cell when Shawn Michaels obviously cuts himself before being catapulted into the outside of the cage. Mike Miller, the wrestler/pharmacist is hysterical. The film picks up 27 minutes in with the appearance of CZW's Necro Butcher, a favorite of mine. Surprisingly, he gets a minor speaking role, telling Rourke before their match to "keep running to a minimum" and asks him, "are you cool with the staples? The staple gun?" Necro Butcher is indeed the man, providing 5 minutes of awesome. Thumbtacks, barbed-wire, dollar bill stapled to the forehead, glass - middle America, meet CZW. The fans handing props, including fake legs, is totally real; check out any old ECW Hardcore TV broadcast or PPV. No CZW show, however, had a girl as hot as the blond in the audience, nor as many audience members ever. Then you go forever without any wrestling at all (a staggering pattern in this wrestling film) but to keep you interested you see Mickey Rourke's ass two more times than is necessary, especially as this is not Wild Orchid (1989). You get a brief glimpse of Austin Aries, The Blue Meanie, Nate Hatred and another surprise (brief) speaking role from Smackdown's Ron 'The Truth' Killings at the final ROH show where Rourke takes on his 80s nemesis the Ayatollah, played by WCW/WWE's Ernest 'the Cat' Miller! Miller is seen chatting with ROH Champion Nigel McGuiness and the locker room gives shots of Bobby Dempsey and another favorite Claudio Castagnoli! Once again, the match is so short and so not the emphasis it's hard to say anything other than the pounding on the signs and "Holy Shit" chants are authentically ROH real. Oh, and Rourke does a Shining Wizard!! (sort of). The credits provided more wrestling enjoyment than the whole film. The opening sequence is narrated by a veritable who's-who of wrestling announcing: Gary Michael Cappetta, Chris Cruise, Kevin Kelly, Lenny Leonard, Dave Prazak, Larry Sweeney, Johnny Valiant and Larry Zbyszko. I also noticed among those industry folks credited with assisting on the film Gabe Sapolsky, until recently the head of ROH; one Jay Reso (Christian Cage) and Sabu, the greatest wrestler ever. It makes me wonder what they did and where those guys were when it was filming. That would have spiced things up a lot.
I would have to say if I was rating this film we'd be talking 5. I have never been on the same page as Darren Aronofsky - met him, liked him, he's a cool, laid-back cat but his movies and I have never clicked no matter how much I want to like them and The Wrestler is another example of that. A tepid, slow moving obvious film which uses professional wrestling as a coat-hanger upon which to hang the rest of that mess. It felt kind of like Where's Waldo in the sense that the movie is called The Wrestler and he's a wrestler and he wants the big time again as well as acceptance and he wrestles when he can and it's about wrestling yet you continually search for wrestling the whole film. He could have been a football player or curler or turkey bowler for all they focused on it and the same story would have unfolded, but wrestling has been such a hot-button topic for a while now cumulating in the Benoit tragedy (and Jeff Hardy's meth lab/trailer burning down - was that suspension #2 now, Jeff?) so why not? Jake the Snake is a compelling train-wreck: run with it. I am a huge fan of ROH and the exposure this film gives the indy promotion is tremendous and I hope they get legions of new fans from this film but with hardly any sport it will be hard to see this as anything other than slow-moving, predictable drama which you can get anywhere. If you are a fan of wrestling lured by the scent of ROH stay away, this film is not for you. If you know anything about Jake the Snake stay away, this film is not for you. If you like wrestling, stay away, this film is not for you. If you are curious about wrestling, or not curious at all but have heard about this new, powerful drama, what could it hurt?