• home
• games
• the lists
• rants & raves
• movies
• bands
• downloads

Total NonStop Action invades Belton

Total NonStop Action Wrestling invades Belton - and Tron is there!

On January 9, 2008, TNA Wrestling kicked off it's national tour in Belton, Texas at the Bell County Expo Center. I, along with some hardcore cybermonkey pals, attended this event and even though this is not a wrestling site (rather, my forte is film) I could not pass up the chance to bring to your attention a review of one of the most exciting events coming to your area.

The Bell County Expo Center is small. Now I don't mean structurally; the Expo Center is huge enough to be spotted from I-35 from quite a distance away, easer than Belton to be honest. However, due to the importance of boat shows to Central Texas, the event was relocated from the more spacious area to what seemed like the Expo Center's banquet area. It still seated several thousand but in a more intimate setting. We were section E, row A (oh, yeah. Front row.) but our section was only four rows deep and approximately 20 people across. The ring had to be slightly modified to account for height. Anyone standing on the top turnbuckle could extend his arms and be a foot or so from the ceiling. The upside was that any seat in the house was a good one; the downside seemed to be top rope action would be limited and outside the ring stuff would be stifled as well due to lack of space. We were very curious to see how the show would play out.


The lead off match featured X-Division Champion Black Machismo defending his title against Frankie Kazarian in the only title match on the card. It was a smart match to lead off with to excite the crowd and also proved the top rope would not be off-limits. Lethal's Randy Savage gimmick was in full swing to the delight of the crowd and, though Kaz would exhibit some decent in-ring ability, Black Machismo proved to be too much in the end and defeated him soundly.


This was one of my personal highlights. Though unadvertised when we purchased tickets, Awesome Kong's appearance totally wowed the crowd. Former Miss Texas and now Pride of Tennessee Miss Jackie earned the enmity of all the fans by flashing the anti-"Hook-em" sign, Traci Brooks looked terrific as usual (and exhibits more in-ring skills as a manager than most female wrestlers and deserves a huge push) and Awesome Kong was straight up amazing. 6'1, 280lbs and she threw those poor girls around like Congress and the budget. Kong debuted a new move which seemed to be a faceplant out of a brainbuster (a lifting double underhook facebuster apparently in Japan) and easily secured the victory by Awesome-bombing poor Ms. Brooks in a match whose only flaw was that it was too short.


The stolen X-Title made an appearance in this fast-paced yet strangely average match. My buddy Paul, as most TNA fans, is a huge mark for the Machine Guns and the match went pretty much as any casual fan would expect. I think Skipper is the most talented of the foursome, yet the Machine Guns are in the middle of a huge push with the Dudleys so after a bunch of high-flying, ceiling-brushing action, the Machine Guns totally punk out Devine and Skipper.


The comedy bit. Storm has few skills but can do comedy. Young has great skills but excels at comedy. No drinking contest this time. Confusion abounds! Storm and referee Earl Hebner get in a shoving match! Storm and Hebner lock up! Young and Hebner do a move! Young scraps with Storm right in front of us! Young defeats Storm, takes his hat and does an impression of Jeff Jarrett! A fun match thoroughly enjoyed by all.

Then we move into a 20 minute break. This normally would be a chain-smoke-fest where the previous action would be discussed and remaining action speculated on until this stupid break was over. However, since TNA was launching what I believe is their first national tour and debuting in Texas they decided to go all out and had LAX sign autographs for free ($5 glossy if you had nothing to sign) and these guys are nice. Got to chat with Homicide about his time in Ring of Honor and Hernandez admitted to preferring the south and TNA to the cold and ROH. The smoke break, then, was shorter but all were in agreement that the show up to now was very enjoyable. Kong and Ms. Brooks were true highlights but the match was too short; the Young/Storm/Hebner comedy trio was the perfect thing to lead into the break; the Machine Guns match was average (the only dissenter was Paul, who again is a huge mark for these choads); oooohhhh, yeah! We hustled back in for what we hoped would be a strong second half.



You see this phrase all the time at pro-wrestling events but, barring injury or a seat at an old-school ECW event, it rarely seems to happen and then never in a good way. Christian Cage's music hits and we all get buzzed. On our pre-card list he's listed as taking on Booker T in his first live event appearance and his grand return to Texas so this match should be hot. It should also be the main event, but it's the first match after break! Imagine our surprise, then, when instead of Booker T's music our match suddenly becomes the pay-per-view caliber Christian Cage vs. Samoa Joe! Joe is one of the hottest indy stars of the last 10 years and has been offered the WWE dollars (he coulda been Umaga-ugh) so it was a real treat to see him in person against Captain Charisma, one of the biggest WWE/TNA personas there is. The match didn't disappoint either. Olé kicks, suicide dives to the floor, unprettiers, savage chops, kicks from the ropes, these guys' arsenals were on full display. Joe seemed in control when he locked Christian in the Coquina clutch but Christian flipped just right so Joe got pinned instead. This did not sit well with Joe who muscle-busted the shit out of Christian after the match. Christian then did some "am I coming or going" comedy, thus proving he can do anything.


The only other near-average match on the card, not because it was terrible but because it was so easy for LAX. Hoyt and rave are pretty bad. Rave's time in ROH didn't seem to help and ever since Hoyt left the X-Division and developed his white trash gimmick (which only works because of Christy Hemme) he seems to have forgotten how to wrestle. To their credit, they did have a lot of heat. A cute little goth chick two chairs down who had been quiet and demure for the entire show went apeshit when Hoyt appeared. She was all over that guy the entire time, especially when he was in pain outside the ring in front of us which was often because Homicide and Hernandez are violent dudes. "Just because you paint your nails doesn't make you goth," she hissed, "You suck." The chant "tramp stamp" went up several times in reference to Hoyt's tattoos. Rave is so worthless nobody sweat that guy. Homicide and Hernandez are over as well. These guys got the biggest pop and the cheering continued throughout the match. Central Texas loves LAX, who won handedly.

Another break but no freedom. Jeremy Borash (from the great state of Minnesota) and TNA have another surprise for their Texas debut. The TNA cameras are there! They pulled into the ring representatives of our military for a tribute and filmed it for subsequent release. As a matter of fact, some appears right now on tnawrestling.com. Then our pal and former WWE ref Earl Hebner got in the ring to say a few words about how glad he was to be in Texas and with TNA. During a pause a
well placed shout of "shoot" (who would dare?) caused Earl to follow with, "Yeah, I was fired but I'm in a much better company now." Wow. Earl's TNA career finally explained. After much applause it was time for the main event.


At Final Resolution Mr. Roode broke the jaw of Sharmell, Booker T's wife/valet. The next few weeks of TNA tv will follow the fallout of this storyline leading to an extremely likely match at the next pay-per-view. We saw that match last night. Roode cut a promo claiming "accident." Booker T hit the ring pissed. Almost all the fans in attendance were solidly behind Booker T. Paul and I were the almost, so much so that ace photographer Robert Lambert commented that from his vantage point we were the only Roode fans in attendance. Roode took it bad as you'd expect. He even took an axe-kick from the top rope. Roode's only chance was foiled when Ms. Brooks grabbed a chair he intended to waffle Booker T with, allowing Booker to get the win.

After the show, Booker T took photos with fans for $20 (still the WWE star) and Tracy Brooks stuck around ringside for pictures and autographs. Using a distraction, Nathan "TNA" Hamilton got Booker T to admit his loss to Rob Van Dam at a recent Texas indy show and yours truly got a hug and peck on the cheek from Ms. Brooks. Thanks also go out to Jeremy Borash, Robert Roode, Eric Young and Christian Cage for making themselves available on the way out and really making their first appearance in Texas memorable. My only regret is not meeting Joe or Kong (to her credit, Kong was reported to be signing during LAX's break). All in all an excellent showing.

Regrets: No Angle. No Nash. No AJ or Tomko. No Angel Williams or Velvet Sky. No Dudleys. All of which JB assured me will be here on the "next tour." He also assured me the Hardcore Homecoming featuring the Sabu and Sandman Stairway to Hell and Raven vs. Rhino will be coming out. He swears.

Rating: 9 out of 10 and I hope Magnificent Bastard, Hamilton and I have ˝ as much fun at Raw.