August 31, 2008
NWA Southwest Inaugural Show Sucks!
"What a waste of time and money."
Maybe you'd rather see a monkey wash a cat? Well, MagnificentBastard can help you with that. Check out the end of the article!
On August 24th, the NWA Southwest was resurrected from the ashes of the TNA rejection and held it's inaugural show at the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, Texas. Now, many of you may not remember the NWA - or if you do it was the WCW incarnation after Uncle Ted bought out Georgia Championship Wrestling (R.I.P.) - but this was the league that brought us Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes, Tully Blanchard, the Minnesota Wrecking Crew, Harley Race, Tommy Rich, Magnum T.A., Rick Steamboat, Sting, the Man who Killed Miss Elizabeth, Masahiro Chono, the Great Muta and many other big-time wrestling luminaries and thrived in a time when territories still ruled wrestling. With Vince owning 80% of everything and TNA grabbing their 15+% leaves very little room for independents to survive (think Wal-Mart). Yet for some reason, many independents have sprung up in recent years - ROH, River City Wrestling, CZW, JAPW, PWG and others - in an attempt to bring some diversity to an overwhelmingly similar product. 
Which brings us back to the NWA. After TNA ditched their influence, the NWA has made small attempts at comebacks in other regions like Atlanta but they apparently have dusted off the old Texas Heavyweight Championship and are determined to make a go of the Houston-San Antonio-Austin-Dallas corridor with the NWA Southwest. If massive indie cred wasn't enough incentive to go the headline dudes were X-Pac and Sid Vicious. X-Pac was a high-flier of the 90s who ran with both the NWO and Degeneration X but really kinda sucks but Sid knows how to draw money and put asses in seats, brother, and Nate Hamilton and I decided at least two of those asses would be us. As expected, then, we loaded up his long-suffering wife and headed off to San Antonio.The first sign something was amiss was when we pulled up to the Freeman Coliseum just before the posted 3pm showtime and saw maybe 30 cars out front. We knew with the Testament/Motorhead/Judas Priest show that evening would have an impact on attendance (he, he) but not to that degree - especially with Sid on the card. Inside was the same; I counted 120 people total from my initial vantage-point, which would quickly turn out better. We shambled off to our $25 seats in the first riser only to find them occupied! The ticket lady informed us they were moving people down from the balcony but we were free to sit anywhere in the riser so we did and prepared ourselves for action.
CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE
Unlike the TNA event in Belton, this was not a good thing at all. First, the lights flicker wildly as a storm blows in (welcome to Texas). Then, the tool announcer comes out and informs us that due to airplanes good old Sid Vicious would not be joining us this afternoon. Motherfucker! The main reason we came. I've got a whole shoot with Sid where he says stuff and a lot of potentially embarrassing questions to ask him about it so this completely sucks. Me and the Hamiltons are old vets so we suck it up and await what's left of the card.
"Scrap Iron" Adam Pierce vs. Ace Steele
In what would turn out to be the best match on the card and and the closest Texas has been to a "real" ROH match, two guys we totally hate came out to a fucked-up sound system and flat-out wrestled in front of a sparse crowd of whom Nate and I were the only two who even knew they wrestled for ROH. And for some reason I was cheering for "Scrap Iron." It's true, Nate has footage. Anyway, Pierce cut a heel promo, wrestled cheap and jobbed to Ace Steele - a man whose best move is bleeding and he failed to deliver even that. Not shabby, but not Sid either. Side note: halfway through the match we were moved down to sit second row.
Kevin Northcutt vs. Love Machine for the Texas Heavyweight Championship
This was a real treat. Two guys we've never heard of fighting over a belt no one's ever heard of but it's Texas, dammit, so we're kinda into it. Except both Northcutt and Love Machine totally suck. When Love Machine upset the champ for the title the only surprise was that the match lasted that long.
6 Choad Tag with Blond Guy
What to say about this? Three alleged luchadors who were totally white and totally sucked took on a team of a black dude who looked like Shelton Benjamin but wrestled like Chilly Willy, some complete no-talent and this blond guy who could actually wrestle and really played his part. He supported his team, jawed with the crowd and looked good in the ring. Of course, with the shitty PA I have no idea who I should be praising but this guy was good. Everyone else was terrible (Bob Holly terrible) and the match was only interesting when we thought one of the faux-luchas got hurt but he was ok and the match continued on to some dumb conclusion.
Los Luchas vs. Skull Crushers for the NWA Tag Team Championship
This time we got real luchas but, like the fake luchas, they sucked pretty bad. The Skull Crushers look like the Eliminators but wrestle like Demolition. It started cool with the Skull Crushers throwing the luchas around outside the ring but once back inside it was the usual "one lucha takes it for a while, makes the hot tag and we brawl to a double DQ" gimmick. Notable for the Skull Crushers throwing chairs around but Nate and I, also wanting to throw chairs, were soundly discouraged from joining in the fun.
Cassandra the Tranny vs. some Choad
This was Nate's wife's highlight of the night and why not? She got to laugh and have a good time during a match so sloppy Nate and I chanted "you fucked up" by ourselves because Cassandra is so over. S/he is a 5' tall Mexican dude who does the whole "I'm gay" thing to a disgusted opponent who has no more skill than Cassandra. A lot of slap and tickle and some pretty poorly executed moves results in a Cassandra victory.
Brent Albright vs. Trevor Murdoch for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Ok, so as part of our double-Main Event, ROH's Brent Albright puts the NWA strap on the line against former WWE star Trevor Murdoch. This is the same title Flair et. al held back in the day being defended at our show. Cool enough. Murdoch knows the business and ran just like a WWE heel, cutting deceptively funny promos and cheating to win the belt after a fairly stiff contest... until Ace Steele came out and exposed his cheating, forcing a re-start and an Albright victory. Worth it to see Murdoch in a small setting.Card Subject to Change
Oh, yes, it's true. This has gotta mean X-Pac, a guy we don't like but now the biggest star the NWA has to offer. Cool enough and we hope to see some wrestling before the night is over. So who comes out but former WWE star Rob Conway of La Resistancè fame. This is not good because we forgot he was on the card but makes sense to put Pac up against a guy familiar with the WWE style.Rob Conway vs. Blue Demon Jr.
What the fuck? Who? Where's X-Pac? Treated just like he was never advertised. Probably chillin' with Sid "not in Texas". Now I've seen some Blue Demon matches and he was an ok worker, nothing outstanding. Blue Demon Jr., however, sucks so bad he shoulda wrestled Cassandra (who seconded him to ringside). This guy couldn't sell tying his shoes. Conway was never a great talent so basically Trevor Murdock at ringside was the only entertainment we got while Demon got the win.
So basically, the NWA Southwest show as a bust. From no-showing stars to a barely talented roster, the NWA failed on all counts. The only thing we're happy about was not paying $40 for the front seats as we got to sit there anyway. If they come to Austin and guarantee a better card for less money I would think about possibly attending but I would never travel to a NWA show again and would recommend if they come to your town to give it a pass no matter who they advertise because they won't be there anyway.
And now, as promised . . . a monkey washing a cat!