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Tombs of the Blind Dead

"I don't believe in this superstition. It is stupid. The whole thing is stupid."
Starring: Marìa Elena Arpòn, Cèsar Burner, Lone Fleming, Veronica Llimera, Joseph Thelman
Rating: 7.5/10
Directed By: Amando de Ossorio
Runtime: 82 minutes

After Night of the Living Dead (1968), the zombie was reborn. No longer the product of voodoo, the walking dead were now animated by governmental mishap and instead of mindless tools they were transformed into relentless cannibals and this updating has informed the zombie subgenre ever since. However, some directors took the kernel of inspiration from George Romero and used it to shape their own niche in the freshly unearthed genre. Such was Amando de Ossorio and his seminal Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971). Using the Knights Templar as a base and Spain's beautiful locales (and locals), de Ossorio crafts an interesting yet boldly different zombie thriller.


The movie begins with the Knights Templar up to their usual tricks, chaining and disrobing an incredible chick to a huge wooden "X," then riding past her on horses and cutting her with swords before dismounting and drinking her blood. So already this movie sets a tone. After the title crawl I learned the whole movie is dependent on the characters never having seen a horror film and this is illustrated by the sheer amount of repeatedly bad choices the ill-informed cast makes. Betty (Lone Fleming), mannequin maker, runs into old pal Virginia (Marìa Elena Arpòn) and her boyfriend Roger (Cèsar Burner) and is invited camping. You'd think people would learn that camping in a horror film is a bad idea. Who the hell knows what lurks in the woods? Bears? Anyhow, we are informed of the possibility of some schoolgirl lesbianism in the ladies' past and Roger looks disappointed. What an idiot. Virginia is worried that Betty and Roger are hooking up seeing as they get along so easily but she's got nothing to worry about seeing as she is fantastically hot in her shirt tied at the waist, allowing a little belly to show...

Oh, yes, so distraught at this imagined infidelity she jumps off the train! Poor Virginia, catalyst for evil. The first place she stumbles upon is the ruined Templar castle. She, ignorant of the horror genre, investigates. She calls "hello," bangs on doors and generally asks for zombie badness. Man, if there's a dark and unused part of the castle, Virginia's gonna stick her fucking nose into it which is actually good suspense. I mean, how is that girl so fucking stupid? I'll tell you. She decides to camp there! She can, however, build a mean fire. The Templars, sensing a hot-ass girl above them, rise up to continue business as usual except they're zombies! The zombies rumble a lot and take forever to rise but Damn! they look awesome! Josè Luis Camops should have banked an Academy Award for make-up. Hooded with skeletal faces and hands, the Templars are a unique and imaginative take on the walking dead and help earn the Blind Dead series it's accolades and strong reputation. Now I don't blame the Templars but why Virginia first? Wearing pj's, she hears a noise and decides to investigate but not in these clothes. She changes back into her cute shorts and tied-off button-up; good thing too as she runs through a typical chase - barring doors, tripping, getting a foot stuck, slow yet relentless pursuit. She even considerately loses a shoe for the others to find before making a daring escape on horseback. Good plan except zombie Templars can ride horses too and move much faster, unseating her rather quickly.

Roger and Betty play Fred and Daphne and search for Virginia but the railroad guys see her body lying in a field from the train. We get a close-up of her torn and bitten body. In the morgue we get bonus gory footage when an ID is made of the wrong body, then extra chewed Virginia. It is here I notice the coroner's assistant is the Spanish Angel Martin (Stuart Margolin) combined with Renfield. There is some small justice: we get Virginia-zombie and she gets her some coroner. This segment on I call "Quest for Virginia." I get what it's about. Roger and Betty learn about Templars and how evil they are (the Templars worship black magic and "they're the blind dead but that will be no handicap as they can still hear their victims and will continue with terror and murder.") and use their newfound knowledge to confront the evil. I just don't like them. I like Virginia.

There is no shortage of pretty girls in Tombs and we get a great close-up of a head with an empty eye socket and suddenly an eye! Just Nina (Veronica Llimera) the assistant making a mannequin. Virginia (yay!) makes use of excellent misdirection to slowly catwalk down a crazy mannequin-lined hallway lit in red neon to menace and eventually put the bite on Nina, only to be burned un-alive. Now we've got 20-35 minutes left with no Virginia. Roger has a solution. He cons Pedro (Josè Thelman), a professor's kid who happens to be a smuggler, to come to the temple with them. Pedro is well prepared with guns, smokes, drinks, he's got his own girl (who is a complete slut) and he completely disrespects her. "This is all I need," he sneers while pulling a switchblade. Shia LaBeouf wishes he was this guy in Indy 4. Pedro is all class. He calls girls "chiquita" and forces sex on Betty, then offers her a smoke. Soon the whole movie became all about Pedro for me but he, too is fated for ill. There is a great overhead shot of Pedro surrounded by 8 zombies and screaming like a bitch while he is bitten and torn to death. All I have left now is Pedro's girl and, much like Veronica, she's much too hot to have a brain.

She has a jealous streak a mile long as well. "So you and Pedro had a little walk. Was that all the exercise you made?" She asks Betty before leaping for her throat. The chicks fight while Roger pounds on the door to their safe haven for his life! Lots of slapping and rolling about as Roger frantically pounds. This is all about Pedro, isn't it? By the time the door is opened Roger is in a bad way. No one closes the door. Pedro's bitch, unnoticed by the Templar hordes, screams and attracts their attention which serves as just the distraction for Roger's weak death scene. Now all I've got left is zombies, who give chase to a bosom's-heaving Betty (no kidding - huge close-up 1hour 14 minutes into the film). Betty's heart-beat gives the cameraman a chance to milk that cleavage shot for all it's worth. The ending seems unsatisfying with Betty and the train guy's inability to cross 10' of ground before the Templars can ride a mile across a field but otherwise it works fine.

Tombs of the Blind Dead is said to be Spain's Night of the Living Dead. Not quite but it definitely raised the bar in terms of quality imitations. The story is solid enough compared to other zombie films and the Templars look awesome. The disc features two versions. The Spanish version adds all the sex, nakedness and torture so go with that version, not the crappy U.S. Version. There is also an alternate opening from a cut U.S. Version called Revenge from Planet Ape, tenuously tying into the success of Planet of the Apes (1968). Tombs makes a good lead in to Zombi 2 (1979) or Severed: Forrest of the Dead (2005).