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Teeth

Every man's worst nightmare?
Starring: Jess Weixler, John Hensley, Hale Appleman, Ashley Springer
Rating: 7/10
Directed By: Mitchell Lichtenstein
Runtime: 88 minutes

I've been looking forward to this movie for months, ever since I first heard about it. I've seen some pretty strange stuff in my day, both in real life and in movies, but this film has a premise that might just be the most unsettling ever. It seems that our heroine, young Dawn (played by Jess Weixler) has a certain something extra in her nether regions. And not in a Crying Game sort of way. No, Dawn is afflicted (or graced, depending on your point of view) with Vagina Dentata . . . that's right, her vagina really is a snapper!

The film is mostly played for laughs, and delivers lots of them. It's not a perfect film, but how many of those are there? It starts slow, but I don't think that's a bad thing. The first scene was a flashback to Dawn's early childhood days and set things up nicely, and then we had some good character development. I do think the gore factor could have been played up a bit more . . . the first several "incidents" were underplayed quite a bit, but the latter portion really delivers. The film got much blacker, and delivered the blood and severed members to my satisfaction. I was impressed with several of the performances, especially Jess Weixler and John Hensley.

This isn't for everyone. My future Mother-In-Law was pretty clear on her feeling: "I can't believe you went and saw that. Did the boys pick that out?" And I heard some grumbling from some audience members that it wasn't bloody enough. Seems second time director Mitchell Lichtenstein can't please anybody! Yeah, it's a sick and twisted premise, and no, it isn't an Eli Roth torture porn splatter fest. It is what it is . . . a black comedy that will leave some audience members sick, some feeling just a little bit uneasy, and most feeling highly entertained. I've heard a few women express some concern that it is degrading to women and exhibits some sort of male fear of powerful women, but I didn't get that at all. If anything, Dawn comes off as sweet girl who is mistreated by several of the men in her life and discovers she has the ability to strike back and cut of her problems at the root (so to speak).

But really, who cares? It was fun. I enjoyed it. I encourage any of you who aren't immediately turned off by the premise (and also are fairly confident it won't scar you for life) to see it the first chance you get. Don't expect greatness, just expect a good time. Remember, some movies are just supposed to be FUN!

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