March 24, 2008
Road To Bali
A film from a time before we knew Bing Crosby pulped his kids
Starring: Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour
Rating: 8/10
Directed By: Hal Walker
Runtime: 90 minutes
Starring: Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Dorothy Lamour
Rating: 8/10
Directed By: Hal Walker
Runtime: 90 minutes
One of the best of the seven road movies and the only effort in Technicolor, Road to Bali (1952) is a fun romp with Bob Hope and Bing Crosby on a treasure-hunting, song-singing, in-jokey adventure that's fun for the whole CyberMonkey! The movie moves right along and the comedy is rapid fire, characteristic of the best screwballs and the Road movies in particular. The plot is a set-up for Bob and Bing to add-lib their way through routine after routine of hijinx and remembering it all is a chore so you'll have to excuse the format whilst I try and give an idea of what these boys get up to.The film begins in Australia. The boys are a variety show warm-up act who have also gotten in trouble with several daughters of local pissed-off Aussies who are at the show cooking up trouble. The boys gotta split fast - as Bing says, "Where there's a farm there's a farmer and where there's a farmer there's a farmer's daughter." The boys sign on as deep sea divers to a Prince Ken Arok (Murvyn Vye) to escape the girls' fathers and for the promise of "rich rewards." Arok knows how these boys think so "could there be a paradise without girls?" Not in this flick, brother, and one of those "girls" is Dorothy Lamour, playing Princess Lala of the island Vatou. Not only hot, she knows the Indian rope trick and can also make a chick appear in a jug and strip, then get back in the jug! Now that's magic! ("Don't fool with the fun flute unless you've checked with the master." - Bing) The boys think so too, both falling promptly in love with her. "I think this calls for me." - Bob. "Princess, let's go to some leafy dell so we can discuss you in terms of me." - Bing. What Arok uses Lamour for is to distract the boys from the legend of Boga-Ten, a giant squid who guards the treasure and the fact that the treasure rightfully belongs to Lamour, whose father was lost at sea with it. Whew.
Bob and Bing, of course, constantly set each other up and take every opportunity to stab each other at every turn. Bob is conned by Bing to do the actual diving with the promise of surrendering all claim on Dorothy Lamour ("I laugh at danger" - Bob) and runs afoul of the giant squid just as he finds the treasure! Spoiler? Not so! There's a ton of movie left! Bing and Dorothy reel him up but he's nothing but an empty suit! Arok decides now is the time for coup but he's grabbed by the squid! Crafty Bob has evacuated and once on the ship with Bing and Dorothy the trio decides to sail to Bali as it will be safer than Vatou. The boys go back to fighting over Dorothy and we find out Bob reminds her of her playtime chimp companion. What's next? Shipwreck! The boys, Dorothy and the treasure wash up on an island ("What happened? Is the picture over?" - Bob) and immediately meet band leader Bob Crosby, doing a walk-on as a man on safari!
Dorothy: "Who was that?"
Bing: "My brother, Bob. I promised him a shot in the picture."
Dorothy: "He's handsome."
Bing: "A family characteristic."
Bob tussles with an alligator, runs afoul of native traps ("Get me down! My brain's running to my head.") and the boys even see Humphrey Bogart towing the African Queen and find his Oscar, which Bob appropriates because "[Bing's] got one."
The island goofiness continues and the boys actually share a kiss during a song with Miss Lamour called "Merry Go Run Around." We get a glimpse inside the dreams of Bob and Bing, who dream of Dorothy, and Dorothy, who dreams of Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis (who is dressed like her, of course)! The lads cannot even sleep well as they are menaced by a gorilla who stops to fight a tiger! What other movie provides this much action? The tiger totally wins and the gorilla's mate picks up menacing the boys, Bob in particular. They are then poisoned by natives with "the laughing twitch." Dorothy Lamour is scrappy and, though cast as a love interest, still shows independence and spirit when she can. Things look dark We see heads on sticks and even the boys are gloomy.
Bing: Just listen at that, will ya, for whom the bells toll."
Bob: "Yeah, I saw that picture. Very few laughs. Even Gary Cooper gets killed."
Both: "Yep."
Dorothy saves the day, realizing she knows the headhunter priest, who was pals with her dad and offers to marry Dorothy to both Bob and Bing! Fatal flaw: Arok arrives and cuts a deal with the chief Ramayana (Leon Haskin, General Burkhalter on Hogan's Heroes) - the jewels for Dorothy. Ramayana declares that Bob and Bing shall marry each other, despite what the volcano god they worship thinks about it! The film spirals to a decidedly cool climax and Bob is able to conjure Jane Russell out of a jar!
Road to Bali is a fun evening of film and what a lot of buddy films from Tango and Cash (1989) to Harold and Kumar (2004) have cribbed the template from. Bob Hope and Bing Crosby are both extremely likable, talented and funny and Dorothy Lamour holds her own (and I don't just mean looks) with such top talent. The rest of the cast is more than serviceable and the cameos are priceless. As far as comedies go, you could do far worse than a view of Road to Bali.