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Gymkata Killer (Challenge of the Tiger)

"Maybe she doesn't like to dine with famous matadors, hadn't you thought of that?"
Starring: Bruce Le, Richard Harrison, Wang Jang Lee, Bolo Yeung
Rating: 6/10
Directed By: Bruce Le
Runtime: 88 minutes

The 1970s were a banner time for kung-fu with companies like the Shaw Brothers and Golden Harvest producing some of the most memorable action films to ever feature martial arts. Recycling the same plot lines, often actors, the 1970's martial epics always brought something new to the table, be it in terms of choreography, villainy, or budding superstars like Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, John Woo; people who would go on to define the genre in the 80s and 90s with a fresh vision and passion. The year 1980, as all years with a zero, is a difficult year for film because, though the director and cast may desire something new, the film still reeks of the time period from which it recently graduated. Sound, lighting, costumes, method all resemble the 70s, though a certain "new decade" hipness begins to infiltrate. Any fan of cinema could tell you this can prove endlessly entertaining in genres such as horror, porn, science-fantasy and especially Kung Fu.

Which brings me to Gymkata Killer (Challenge of the Tiger). A kung fu film that dares to differentiate itself from the pack by shrugging off the staid formula of "boy knows no kung fu, village/parents/school menaced, training, revenge" plotline and gave us instead a spy film of sorts which features, along with brand new spy clichés, kung fu and topless tennis! Presented with the swankest 70s soundtrack and fashion lineup outside an episode of Quincy! The story centers around two scientists who have developed a sterilizer that kills sperm "but must not be used in the wrong way." Before the right way can be explained, the scientists are killed and the formula stolen! This, of course, sends the CIA into an uproar. Enter Huang Lung (Bruce Le) and Richard Cannon (Richard Harrison), two of spydom's top agents assigned to get it back. To complicate matters, the Communists, led by Hwang Jang Lee and a young Bolo Yeung, also desire the formula, creating a three way showdown for the fate of mankind's sperm.

It's really the partnership dynamic between Richard and Huang that draws the viewer into the film. Much like Simon and Simon, Tango and Cash, Matt and Jeff Hardy, Oscar and Felix the strengths of one balance the weaknesses of the other. Huang is the pair's resident martial arts expert and it's a good thing too since every time Huang goes somewhere there are random thugs up to no good just waiting to catch an exhibition of his physical prowess. Richard Cannon is the pair's Derek Flint. He has the look of Timothy Dalton combined with the 'stache and body of Magnum T.A.. He is described by the CIA as a man "who fools around too much with women," but the man need to keep in practice. He resides in a giant manse filled to the brim with naked cuties who adore topless tennis (see? I wasn't lying), topless sunbathing and full-on naked swimming to the tune of a three minute rock video of the same with shots of a fully-clothed Mr. Cannon looking on in approval, also one of his most outstanding skills. The pair's playful attitudes and casual ease with which they treat each other hearken back to a bygone era of soda fountains and Rockwell paintings. Truly the template for Crockett and Tubbs.

The story twists and turns without actually revealing much more than the bad guys have the stuff and the commies want it too. Richard picks up one of the head criminals, Maria, in like 2 seconds and she immediately hustles him into the bath with a "many men have told me [things] before. I need less talk," proceeding to lose the formula to him in the process - but it turns out to be a fake "which is merely Spanish fly." So it's back on the job for our intrepid heroes who stumble from event to event with fevered bouts of kung-fu and straight up macking. Huang even goes one-on-one with a bull in probably the most exciting scene in the film. Bull-Fu, apparently, is tremendously strong as Huang can make no headway and the bull clearly has the upper hoof until Huang brings the thunder fist to the top of the bull's head which cuts away to an illustration of the internal damage; a trick used with mild success in Jet Li's "Romeo Must Die". The kung-fu throughout is par excellence, with guys rolling around and jumping in out of nowhere and general fists and feet mayhem. There is also nothing funnier than seeing a white guy teaching Asians martial arts.

As the film steams toward a climax (what? So far nothing's really happened) Richard and Huang, who know no fear, actually run away from two guys on dirt bikes who menace them while traveling up a flight of stairs! Lest the readership decide that our heroes are less than men, justice is distributed and even Richard displays some martial skills when he defeats foes on a beach wearing nothing more than a tiny blue speedo, even Kirk-slapping his opponents twice! To his credit he sleeps with the member of the Communist party he rescues, thus displaying his unique talent, but Huang never gets the girl. This is probably why he beats the hell out of everyone he meets - to assuage the knowledge that Richard is a Pimp and can fight whereas all he can do is fight. Yet rather than drive a rift between our spies it serves to maintain the balance as Huang pretty much wraps the entire film up himself. Huang also gets the distinct honor of jawing with Morgan Fairchild, Jack Klugman and Jane Seymour at some Macao festival while Richard stands alone!

As a matter of fact, Richard basically drops in and out of the rest of the film with no real explanation. It begins when Huang heads for his red Cooper and sees some thugs crowding around begging for an ass-whooping which he solidly delivers. Huang then heads back to the car and, using some unknown power of teleportation, there's Richard, slumped against the wheel well asleep ("knocked out"), impossible since he was totally not in the aforementioned establishing shot! Later, Richard picks a fight with a Junior Mr. Olympia who defeats Richard's pimp-fu by flexing his way out of Richard's mightiest moves! Huang jumps in to finish the fight and Richard disappears! Huang then fights Senior Mr. Olympia (58 and looking great!), because any good spy ring has two WWE guys hanging around, and though the flex is again the preferred method of defense, Huang fucks him up too by punching his sunglasses into his eyes and rapid-firing fists to the sternum - yet Richard is nowhere to be found. Pimping? No, because in the next few scenes Huang rolls through the rest of Maria's gang, Maria, Maria's boss and Hwang Jang Lee and Richard only appears briefly at minute 85 to witness the endlessly compelling fight inside a car moving five miles per hour between Le and Lee. To it's credit, the car does fall off a cliff and explode, but while facing the wrong way for it to do so. Richard pretty much just watches the last third of the film with you and yucks it up with Huang at the end, thus preserving the greatest spy duo since Mr. And Mrs. Smith.

Plenty of spy movies give you spying and many, if not most, kung-fu films do bring the martial arts but to find a film that at once spies and fights it's way into your heart is a rare thing indeed. Despite its flaws, Gymkata Killer is an entertaining romp garnished with a "very nice dub job," to quote myself sarcastically, that will spice up and dull evening for fans of comedy, spies and all around kung-fu goodness tinged with a scenting of the 70s. Check the trailer provided for a taste of good times and as always cybermonkeys can vent at tron@cybermonkeydeathsquad.com.

WARNING: Trailer is Not Safe For Work.